Plague

April 15, 2014

Me: The black plague…
Two-Year-Old: Black plague!
Me: I’m sorry, [Two-Year-Old], did you just say, “black plague”?

Chickens

April 14, 2014

Six-Year-Old: Stop telling me, cows, to eat chickens!

Carbonite

April 13, 2014

Six-Year-Old: What if everybody fell down there, even Han in carbonite?

Adventure

April 12, 2014

Wife: Would you like an adventure where the cows don’t laugh?

Talking

April 11, 2014

Me: There’s no bear here, and the blueberry isn’t talking.

Squirrel

April 10, 2014

Wife: Better than a clock is our dead squirrel.

Monster

April 9, 2014

Me: I can’t seem to find my Cookie Monster pants.

Starch

April 8, 2014

Me: It smells intensely of corn starch and who-know-what else.
Wife: Pee! It smells like pee!

Dishwasher

April 7, 2014

Me: Why is there a whole pecan in our dishwasher?

Fully

April 6, 2014

Wife: Ow! Ow! You are not fully cooked!

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