April 15, 2014
Me: The black plague…
Two-Year-Old: Black plague!
Me: I’m sorry, [Two-Year-Old], did you just say, “black plague”?
April 14, 2014
Six-Year-Old: Stop telling me, cows, to eat chickens!
April 12, 2014
Wife: Would you like an adventure where the cows don’t laugh?
April 11, 2014
Me: There’s no bear here, and the blueberry isn’t talking.
April 10, 2014
Wife: Better than a clock is our dead squirrel.
April 9, 2014
Me: I can’t seem to find my Cookie Monster pants.
April 8, 2014
Me: It smells intensely of corn starch and who-know-what else.
Wife: Pee! It smells like pee!
April 7, 2014
Me: Why is there a whole pecan in our dishwasher?
April 6, 2014
Wife: Ow! Ow! You are not fully cooked!