October 20, 2014
Me: Would you go to a restaurant called “The Shack Bistro”?
Wife: Only if it was actually run by Shaq, not just in a shack.
October 19, 2014
Me: You don’t want to avoid dying just so I wouldn’t have a stupid nickname.
October 18, 2014
Me: Would you like some Damascus rose Badger antioxidant body oil?
Wife: No thanks, I’m not hungry?
October 17, 2014
Me: You have muscular arms, are a wonderful wife, and wonderful mother.
October 16, 2014
Me: You don’t need to eat a ferret to have good sex, either.
October 14, 2014
Wife: There’s a question for the Rabbi: “If the cantor goes chasing after a vampire, are we supposed to keep singing?”
October 13, 2014
Me: There must be Tess of the D’Urbervilles-Buffy the Vampire Slayer crossover fan fiction.
October 12, 2014
Wife: No part of this was supposed to be a lesson whose moral was, “I should buy a grappling hook.”
October 11, 2014
Me: You’re not broken. Or if you are, you are self-repairing. You have little nanobots inside you to repair your damage.
Not literally. Emotional nanites.