Shaq

October 20, 2014

Me:  Would you go to a restaurant called “The Shack Bistro”?
Wife: Only if it was actually run by Shaq, not just in a shack.

Nickname

October 19, 2014

Me:  You don’t want to avoid dying just so I wouldn’t have a stupid nickname.

Damascus

October 18, 2014

Me:  Would you like some Damascus rose Badger antioxidant body oil?
Wife:  No thanks, I’m not hungry?

Muscular

October 17, 2014

Me:  You have muscular arms, are a wonderful wife, and wonderful mother.

Either

October 16, 2014

Me:  You don’t need to eat a ferret to have good sex, either.

Mathnet

October 15, 2014

Me: High five for the Mathnet reference.

Cantor

October 14, 2014

Wife: There’s a question for the Rabbi: “If the cantor goes chasing after a vampire, are we supposed to keep singing?”

Angel

October 13, 2014

Me: There must be Tess of the D’Urbervilles-Buffy the Vampire Slayer crossover fan fiction.

Lesson

October 12, 2014

Wife: No part of this was supposed to be a lesson whose moral was, “I should buy a grappling hook.”

Emotional

October 11, 2014

Me: You’re not broken. Or if you are, you are self-repairing. You have little nanobots inside you to repair your damage.

Not literally. Emotional nanites.

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