July 22, 2014
July 21, 2014
Me: If you’re defacing a sign in a way that enhances the cultural cachet of the sign, that’s not white trash.
July 20, 2014
Me: Oh, that’s an Eagle Premier. You don’t see those around much any more. Although I’m not sure this counts as seeing it, given that it doesn’t have plates or tires.
Wife: Yep, ’cause those make it invisible.
July 19, 2014
Wife: You’ve been more Irish than Jewish for a long time now, but you haven’t got a bit of Irish in you.
July 18, 2014
Wife: I can’t tell you how much I needed a stupid beard story.
July 17, 2014
Wife: You had food stuck in your beard for ten minutes and didn’t notice?
Me: It wasn’t food.
Wife: What was it?
July 16, 2014
Me: Except for the SPURKEY, it’s all vegetarian.
July 15, 2014
Me: In my dream, I had to hit people with the plates, because they were trying to hurt you.
Ten-Year-Old: Ha ha!
Was I one of them?
July 14, 2014
Wife: She looks like ten pounds of bologna crammed into a SPAM can.