Trapped

Twelve-Year-Old: Mister Beast:  I trapped space Hitler for fifty hours in solid ice.
…
I dare you to blog that!

Collecting

Me:  I don’t know what to think about the fact that the Library of Congress is collecting “lizard people” memes.

Tambo

Eleven-Year-Old:  Can’t you post this on Oliver Tambo Day?

Happy New Year!

Snow

Eleven-Year-Old:  You should put “pregnant lizard people in a cave in the snow” on the blog.

Bicep

Colleague:  It’s the first day I can touch my ear with my bicep.  I’m happy to have that memorialized, ’cause it’s an achievement.

Proto-Germanic

Colleague:  ChatGPT can’t speak Klingon nearly as well as it can speak proto-Germanic.
…
Blog.

Dopiest

Me:  Counting the Omer mitzvah is dopiest mitzvah.
Nineteen-Year-Old:  Are you blogging that?
Me:  I guess now I have to.

Private

Me:  It’s private, so that only I can see it.
Eleven-Year-Old:  Then why are you putting it on there?
Me:  Because I found it funny.
…
And to be passive aggressive.

Colleagues

Colleague:  You need to talk to more colleagues, man.  I’m showing up too often on there!

Tormented

Friend:  I figure I’m going to be forever tormented by Sting in a Speedo.
Me:  It’s not in there, somewhere.
…
Friend:  If you put that in there, add “sweaty”:  “sweaty Sting in a Speedo.”