Halloween
October 31, 2020
Me: Apparently, Halloween is a reason for goths just to dress like goths.
Adjacent
October 30, 2020
Me: What’s wrong?
Sixteen-Year-Old: I hate country music.
Me: This isn’t country.
Sixteen-Year-Old: It’s country adjacent.
Me: This is folk rock.
Sixteen-Year-Old: It’s country adjacent.
Me: It’s country-adjacent adjacent
Incomprehensible
October 29, 2020
Me: The world is just as incomprehensible today as it was yesterday.
Devolves
October 28, 2020
Sixteen-Year-Old: My writing kind of devolves into calligraphy anyway.
Yawning
October 27, 2020
Sixteen-Year-Old: I keep yawning, and my mouth keeps hurting.
Developing
October 25, 2020
Me: You have a lot of ink on your thumb.
Sixteen-Year-Old: What?
Me: You have a lot of ink on your thumb. You look like you voted in a developing world election.
Head-to-Body
October 24, 2020
Sixteen-Year-Old: Look how cute he is! Look at the head-to-body ratio!
Werewolves
October 23, 2020
Me: My hair looks perfect.
…
Werewolves in London.
Colleagues
October 22, 2020
Me: Is there a vast community of physicists who are too polite to tell less distinguished colleagues that they don’t know what they’re doing at all?
Your Dialogue is Unrealistic. 