Economy Game

September 6, 2017

Me: He could be beaten back, but not killed.
Ten-Year-Old: This is the economy game. People die.

Advertisements

Gorilla

September 5, 2017

Five-Year-Old: Come on, green gorilla!

Document

September 2, 2017

Five-Year-Old: Get the document.
Ten-Year-Old: [unintelligible]
Five-Year-Old: It’s a document!
Ten-Year-Old: [unintelligible]
Five-Year-Old: Get the document!

Surf!

August 31, 2017

Five-Year-Old: Everybody time surf!

Lose

August 30, 2017

Five-Year-Old: Do you want some space cake?
Me: No thanks. I’m trying to lose space weight.

Engine

August 24, 2017

Five-Year-Old: Dad, my engine broke!
Me: What engine?
Five-Year-Old: The engine for my boat. Now my boat can’t move?
Me: Okay.
Five-Year-Old: And why aren’t you saying, “Oh, dear!”

Ginormous

August 21, 2017

Five-Year-Old: Let’s do an adventure. You start in a village.
Ten-Year-Old: What do I have?
Five-Year-Old: You have some bread, beer, some juice, and those guys that are with you. Your weapons are a bazooka, a ginormous knife, and, uh, and a big gun, and a freeze gun. It can freeze people to ice.

Slappity

August 18, 2017

Ten-Year-Old: I did all the homework for today.
Me: Good.
Ten-Year-Old: Yay! Then I can do computer time and go, “Flop, flop, slap, slap, slap, slappity slap!”

Am

August 9, 2017

Friend’s Daughter: I’m not allowed to watch this at home.

Okay, I am. I just choose not to.

Blocky

June 7, 2017

Cashier: I tried playing Minecraft, but I couldn’t understand it.
Nine-Year-Old: It’s a world with lots of blocky stuff and death… and peaceful things.