Gold

November 18, 2017

Friend’s Son: I ain’t afraid of no gold!

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Narrative

November 17, 2017

Former Student: I still don’t trust with narrative.
Colleague: Then the snake would have had to have lied to us.

Cards

November 14, 2017

Ten-Year-Old: Your cards are the only good thing.

Collected

November 13, 2017

Ten-Year-Old: I just heard explosions, and money being collected, and people dying.

Racist

November 1, 2017

Student: Are elves people?
Colleague: That depends on how racist you are.
Students: Elves are not people.
Colleague’s Son: Aren’t you an elf?
Student: I am not an elf.

Merits

October 30, 2017

Student: So here’s the merits of the ruse:

Stab

October 27, 2017

Student: I want to stab the mage in the face.

Golfing

October 18, 2017

Wife: Why are you golfing police cars with a swordfish?
AAAh! That’s a bus!

Charcoal

October 14, 2017

Thirteen-Year-Old: What was that over there? It looks like somebody threw a charcoal balloon. I don’t know what that it, but I just made it up.

Side

October 3, 2017

Friend: It’s hard for things to go bad when you’ve got the whole swamp on your side.