Nuke

April 16, 2019

Seven-Year-Old: What kind of ABC potato super nuke did we find?

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Tentacles

April 13, 2019

Friend: You’re down to one zombie.
Me: One zombie, six tentacles, and an eldritch abomination.

Convince

April 7, 2019

Friend: You could convince me to go and stab that wizard a lot of times.

Fractal

April 3, 2019

Friend: They dismiss it as from the giant worm asphyxiation a couple days ago.
Me: Giant fractal worm.

Breakup

March 30, 2019

First Friend: The abomination sent you.
Second Friend: Did the abomination look like a fist?
First Friend: Yes.
Second Friend: What’s going on with you two? Bad breakup?

Effort

March 29, 2019

Friend: I put a lot of effort to have a very random list.

Dorkiest

March 21, 2019

Me: We have the dorkiest enemies.

Asking

March 18, 2019

Me: Did she also die in a Call of Cthulhu game?

Asking for a friend.

Wow, my daughter is fifteen today!

Leg

March 5, 2019

Seven-Year-Old: Dad, does my leg look like the gun [Eleven-Year-Old] has?
Me: No.
Seven-Year-Old: But it… but it… but it…. Yes, it does.

Immersion

February 12, 2019

Me: There’s a toilet.
Eleven-Year-Old: You’re ruining my immersion.
Seven-Year-Old: There’s toilet.