Orc Racism

December 8, 2018

Friend: Your extreme orc racism is a problem.

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Orc Sammy Davis

December 7, 2018

Me: So it’s like orc Sammy Davis Junior.

On Foot

December 6, 2018

Friend: As a four-and-a-half-foot-tall rat, I think I would go off on foot.

Crying

November 25, 2018

Wife: I think maybe you should just leave the crying wizard where you are.
Six-Year-Old: I’m not even a wizard any more!

Much, Much More

November 24, 2018

Six-Year-Old: I lost my magic, I am so poor, and much, much more!

Hiding

November 23, 2018

Six-Year-Old: I forgot where I was! I thought I was hiding inside [Eleven-Year-Old]!

Dragon

November 19, 2018

Friend: The well and the dragon are going to fight.

Critically

November 10, 2018

Friend’s Son: So, a critically peaceful night.

Anger

November 7, 2018

Fourteen-Year-Old: Frick! I did it wrong! Anger, anger. High score, high score.

Goggles

November 2, 2018

Six-Year-Old: This looks like a Diglett wearing goggles.