Sparkly

June 20, 2019

Friend: I’m eighty-five European years old, drinking dirty sunglasses, sitting on a sparkly couch, throwing darts.

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Darts

June 11, 2019

Me: I don’t think darts are supposed to be wet.

Dart Danger

June 9, 2019

Student: Dart danger zone!

Fourteen

June 7, 2019

Colleague: Fourteen people in America are killed every year by darts.

Shards

May 23, 2019

Friend: You’re all covered with bone shards and brains and viscera.
Me: As a wolfen should be.

Canyon

May 22, 2019

Friend: Let’s not flood the slot canyon.

Kiting

May 8, 2019

Me: “Slime kiting”—that sounds like a sport.
Friend: It sounds like a dangerous sport.

Well

May 4, 2019

Friend: I love the well, and the well loves you.

Mermaids

April 21, 2019

Friend: I named them “Philips.” They looked like sand mermaids.

Nuke

April 16, 2019

Seven-Year-Old: What kind of ABC potato super nuke did we find?