Orc Racism

December 8, 2018

Friend: Your extreme orc racism is a problem.


Orc Sammy Davis

December 7, 2018

Me: So it’s like orc Sammy Davis Junior.

On Foot

December 6, 2018

Friend: As a four-and-a-half-foot-tall rat, I think I would go off on foot.


November 25, 2018

Wife: I think maybe you should just leave the crying wizard where you are.
Six-Year-Old: I’m not even a wizard any more!

Much, Much More

November 24, 2018

Six-Year-Old: I lost my magic, I am so poor, and much, much more!


November 23, 2018

Six-Year-Old: I forgot where I was! I thought I was hiding inside [Eleven-Year-Old]!


November 19, 2018

Friend: The well and the dragon are going to fight.


November 10, 2018

Friend’s Son: So, a critically peaceful night.


November 7, 2018

Fourteen-Year-Old: Frick! I did it wrong! Anger, anger. High score, high score.


November 2, 2018

Six-Year-Old: This looks like a Diglett wearing goggles.