Rains

Me: The only thing I don’t like about my moss lawn is the way it smells when it rains.

Doll

Me: Freak Russian doll accident?
Thirteen-Year-Old: Freak Russian doll accident.

Roof

Me: It looks like a work truck, but it’s actually got a kayak on the roof.

Fruits

Me: The fruits of the Kazakhstan Research Excellence Initiative were not excellent.

Eve

Me: Wow! I hadn’t listened to “Eve of Destruction” for at least a month!

Minute

Me: Wait a minute. What the hell point were they trying to make?

Bread

Me: Okay, I’m going to get the sandwich. What size, and what kind of bread?
Sixteen-Year-Old: Medium white. Like me!
…
Okay, it would really be small white.

Eldritch

Me: There’s something about Hilary Hahn that makes my skin crawl, like she’s an eldritch abomination.

Adopt!

[Watching Starman]
Jeff Bridges [on television]: He will be human, a baby of your husband, but also he will be my baby.
Sixteen-Year-Old: Just adopt! Just adopt!

Follows

Friend: There can be only one (Anne of Green Gables)!
Me: Megan Follows would kick Christopher Lambert‘s ass.