Venusian
July 28, 2021
Me: Sir, the Venusian pheasants are here.
Horn
July 27, 2021
Me: That French horn player looks like Hermann Göring. Everyone looks like Hermann Göring.
Pheasants
July 26, 2021
Me: Is this part of the astronaut training?
Fourteen-Year-Old: Of course. You have to get rid of all the space pheasants.
Undercranking
July 25, 2021
Me: Undercranking the dogs!
Spied
July 24, 2021
Fourteen-Year-Old: They’re going to get clown spied!
Upper
July 23, 2021
Middle-Aged White Man: I don’t like affluent, upper-middle-aged white people.
Sly
July 22, 2021
Student: P slash goes into delta sly.
Canola
July 21, 2021
Me [reading news story]: “Fields of canola”—afraid to say the word rape?
Mangoes
July 20, 2021
Seventeen-Year-Old: Grilled cheese and mangoes—a popular pair.
Foxes
July 19, 2021
Seventeen-Year-Old: Do what makes you happy.
Me: She was really into erotic foxes.
