Six

January 16, 2019

Me: You’ve got a sphincter on your six.

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Beast

January 15, 2019

Six-Year-Old: Beast Boy is a vegetarian for some reason.

Horse

January 14, 2019

Friend: [RPG Character] pours out some water on the horse and cleans the vomit out of its fur.

Picking

January 13, 2019

Six-Year-Old: What? You said [Friend] was picking me up!
Me: No, I said that was tomorrow.
Six-Year-Old: What?
Me: You heard what I said.

Walnwood

January 12, 2019

Me: I just realized that of all the streets in the neighborhood where I grew up, mine was the worst for a porn name. Wormwood, Valleywood, Springwood, Ironwood, Bayberry, Woodview, La Cresta, Rockwood.

Coins

January 11, 2019

Eleven-Year-Old: Why do you want that Slinky?
Six-Year-Old: It’s a stack of silver coins.

Hut

January 10, 2019

Six-Year-Old: That’s our hut.
Eleven-Year-Old: That’s not our hut. I do not live in a hut.

Smiley

January 9, 2019

Six-Year-Old: That’s a smiley shuriken on sale.

Replace

January 8, 2019

Six-Year-Old: Three hours later… one more lightbulb to replace….

Pudding

January 7, 2019

Eleven-Year-Old: You want to buy some taco pudding?