Devolves
October 28, 2020
Sixteen-Year-Old: My writing kind of devolves into calligraphy anyway.
Yawning
October 27, 2020
Sixteen-Year-Old: I keep yawning, and my mouth keeps hurting.
Developing
October 25, 2020
Me: You have a lot of ink on your thumb.
Sixteen-Year-Old: What?
Me: You have a lot of ink on your thumb. You look like you voted in a developing world election.
Head-to-Body
October 24, 2020
Sixteen-Year-Old: Look how cute he is! Look at the head-to-body ratio!
Werewolves
October 23, 2020
Me: My hair looks perfect.
…
Werewolves in London.
Colleagues
October 22, 2020
Me: Is there a vast community of physicists who are too polite to tell less distinguished colleagues that they don’t know what they’re doing at all?
Subcutaneous
October 21, 2020
Friend: I’m thinking the possibility of subcutaneous spiders negates the potential for improved sociability.
Creech
October 20, 2020
Me [trying to sing along]: The creature with preach, and the teacher will creech.
Authentically
October 19, 2020
Me: Have there even been any authentically famous ventriloquists, apart from Edgar Bergen and Señor Wences?
