Venusian

July 28, 2021

Me:  Sir, the Venusian pheasants are here.

Horn

July 27, 2021

Me:  That French horn player looks like Hermann Göring.  Everyone looks like Hermann Göring.

Pheasants

July 26, 2021

Me:  Is this part of the astronaut training?
Fourteen-Year-Old:  Of course.  You have to get rid of all the space pheasants.

Undercranking

July 25, 2021

Me:  Undercranking the dogs!

Spied

July 24, 2021

Fourteen-Year-Old:  They’re going to get clown spied!

Upper

July 23, 2021

Middle-Aged White Man:  I don’t like affluent, upper-middle-aged white people.

Sly

July 22, 2021

Student:  P slash goes into delta sly.

Canola

July 21, 2021

Me [reading news story]: “Fields of canola”—afraid to say the word rape?

Mangoes

July 20, 2021

Seventeen-Year-Old:  Grilled cheese and mangoes—a popular pair.

Foxes

July 19, 2021

Seventeen-Year-Old:  Do what makes you happy.
Me:  She was really into erotic foxes.