Gnarly

April 12, 2021

Me:  I think [Nine-Year-Old] thought, based on the name, that it might be too girly.
Seventeen-Year-Old:  Yeah, he didn’t know it would actually be gnarly.
Me:  I don’t think “gnarly” is quite the right word.

But, then, I suppose Mommy Fortuna wears a literally gnarly headpiece.

Fortuna

Beach

April 11, 2021

Friend:  Apparently I’ve been doing going to the beach wrong

Appointment

April 10, 2021

Me:  That’s the kind of thing that gets you an appointment with Albert Pierrepoint.

Roaring

April 9, 2021

Me:  You know when you’re so tired you confuse days with centuries? Like, you think the Roaring Twenties were yesterday.

Steely

April 8, 2021

Me:  To have a Steely Dan song stuck in your head is a terrible thing.

Blasphemous

April 7, 2021

Me:  By the way, “Blasphemous Fish-Frog” is my porn name.

Blindings

April 6, 2021

Me [reading billboard]:  “Equus Film Festival”?

With all the blindings and the nudity?

Goomba

April 5, 2021

Thirteen-Year-Old:  Shut up! It’s a mob story. It doesn’t have to make sense.
Me:  Shut up, you goomba!
Thirteen-Year-Old:  RIP, Sammy

Manipulate

April 4, 2021

Nine-Year-Old:  I’ll give you a spoiler!
Thirteen-Year-Old:  No! I will emotionally manipulate a monkey to punch you.

Cubes

April 3, 2021

Me:  I feel like Ramanujan.  The address of the tire place is the sum of two cubes.