Sniffers
July 5, 2022
Me: Was that the same girl from Amyl Nitrate and the Skunks or whatever?
Friend: Amyl and the Sniffers. And yes.
Me: I said, “or whatever.” Jeez.
Reunion
July 4, 2022
Me: I assume that the context of The X-Files reunion shows is that Scully has come back to the FBI after being thrown out of the Northern Ireland police for her unprofessional behavior?
Healing
July 3, 2022
Figured
July 2, 2022
Ten-Year-Old: I figured out what the worst LEGO video game is.
Counter
July 1, 2022
Ten-Year-Old: Both Mom and the therapist were impressed by my Geiger counter imitation.
Dong
June 30, 2022
Me: Sometimes even Roger Ebert thought with his dong.
Radius
June 29, 2022
Student: When it says that it’s “outside the sphere,” does that mean that I can use the radius, or do I need another number?
Centralist
June 28, 2022
Me: He was a centralist in two small worlds, and in both of them we called him: “Lying!”
Impersonator
June 27, 2022
Me: The weirdest thing that happened to me today was that I saw the bush on a professional, female Christopher Guest impersonator.
Overalls
June 26, 2022
Me: Where did you get those overalls?
Eighteen-Year-Old: Uh…
Me: Nineteen Seventy-Four Direct?
Eighteen-Year-Old: Grrr.
Me: Just kidding.
Eighteen-Year-Old: Oh, you’re funny.
Me: I am.