Asking
March 18, 2019
Me: Did she also die in a Call of Cthulhu game?
…
Asking for a friend.
Wow, my daughter is fifteen today!
Lumbago
March 17, 2019
Shaggy
March 16, 2019
Me: He had a pretty successful career as a DJ.
Wife: He lives in a van!
Rainbows
March 15, 2019
Eleven-Year-Old: I had a cupcake yesterday.
Me: That’s great.
Eleven-Year-Old: I didn’t have any more. I practically puked rainbows.
Impetigous
March 14, 2019
Me: Let me see your impetigous finger.
Somehow appropriate for my brother’s birthday.
Secondarily
March 13, 2019
Me: They wanted to know where the duke’s falcon, and secondarily his daughter, were.
Striders
March 12, 2019
Friend: You see three horse-sized water striders.
Shell
March 11, 2019
Me: The goat’s in the shell.
Zombie Problems
March 10, 2019
Eleven-Year-Old: I want a dog.
Friend: You don’t want a dog.
Me: You don’t want a dog from a town with zombie problems.
Eleven-Year-Old: I want a dog.
Bees
March 9, 2019
Friend: Bees can count to four.
Other Friend: But bees don’t know they can count to four.
Eleven-Year-Old: But bees can’t swim.
