Birth

Sixteen-Year-Old:  I don’t ever want to see a LEGO person give birth again.

Original

Friend:  Gilgamesh is my original character.  Do not steal!

Mythological

Me:  HEΡAKΛEΣ was the greatest of the Greek mythological heroes. The actual greatest hero of ancient Greece was EΠAMINΩΔAΣ.

Collecting

Me:  I don’t know what to think about the fact that the Library of Congress is collecting “lizard people” memes.

Hag

Friend:  Is this a boo hag?

After Us

Colleague:  Thor?  Thor is coming after us?

Workstation

Me:  Reusing a block of someone else’s code may be a pretty good analogy here.  Sauron wanted to install a backdoor in each of the Rings of Power, which would let him take over their functions and control the wearer/workstation on which they were installed.  For the Rings he worked on personally, he was able to insert code that gave him direct access.  However, for the Three, which Celebrimbor created using some of Sauron’s libraries, Sauron could only control their function when he was directly hooked into the Rings of Power network himself, running his own One Ring instance.

Annals

Colleague:  Best practices in—
Different Colleague’s Wife:  Barbarian medicine?
Sixteen-Year-Old:  Leeches!
Me:  Annals of Barbarian Medicine.

Swingers

Me:  Only three people have ever really understood the 4chan business—the Prince Consort, who is dead—a German professor, who has gone mad—and I, who have forgotten about it.
…
I had a dream about corporate executive octopus swingers.

Translations

Me:  Aren’t there translations of Aristotle?
Colleague:  Yeah, I know.  I know.
Me:  Never send in an AI to do a man’s job.