April 2, 2017

Wife: I think the really sad part is, you know the place to go for slashfic.


April 1, 2017

Me: Interestingly, a lot of the “Donald Trump” category at Archive of Our Own is not actually slashfic, but assassination fantasies.


March 27, 2017

Colleague: I just grep-ed to find wherever sasquatches appeared in the legends.


March 17, 2017

Five-Year-Old: I’m Bookbeard!


February 7, 2017

Wife: Sometimes you stare into the void, and it laughs at you.


January 30, 2017

Wife: You’re justifying this on the basis of an Updike novel?
Please don’t drown my baby.


January 9, 2017

Twelve-Year-Old: According to [Her Friend], it’s like feels galore for characters.


December 27, 2016

Me: The zones all have names, like Middle Zealand and Bricksburg.
Nine-Year-Old: And Clown Town, which isn’t really a place. It’s for clowns.
Me: Does it have a dead lady?


December 5, 2016

Me: I know the only person in the world who writes MATHNET fan fiction.


November 16, 2016

Me: I had a really bad dream last night. It was like Donald Trump was in The Silmarillion. Imagine if trump were leading the armies in the War of the Jewels, instead of the sons of FĂ«anor. “We’re going to build a wall around Angband! And who’s going to pay for that wall? Morgoth!”