April 30, 2015
April 29, 2015
Eleven-Year-Old: Knee socks are my life.
April 28, 2015
Me: I want to go on a cruise. A real cruise, not on the street.
April 27, 2015
Wife: If it’s some kind of insane, psychotic negotiating tactic, it’s not helpful.
April 26, 2015
Wife: We’re not buying a blue cheese house.
April 25, 2015
Me: Just say no to hobbit holes.
April 24, 2015
Wife: Does it hurt when you move your head up and down, or just side to side.
Me: It doesn’t really hurt, but it does feel weird.
Wife: You haven’t been drinking enough water, or you’re dying.
April 23, 2015
Me: I guess Halloween is Reformation Day. That’s not a coincidence.
Wife: Trick or theses!
April 22, 2015
Me [reading sign]: This is a “police oriented community.”
Wife: They’re only sexually attracted to the police.
April 21, 2015
Me: You can’t hear meningitis!