Ax

June 5, 2020

Me: Elsie Borden took an ax….
Wife of Elmer, of glue fame

Gastropods

June 1, 2020

Me: I am probably the only adult man in the world to who sleeps with two stuffed gastropods next to him.

China

May 28, 2020

Me: Why would I assume that you got your dog from China?

Neotenic

May 24, 2020

Me: In a certain sense, it may turn out to be the case that all vertebrates are neotenic sea squirt larvae, but what does that even mean?

Snowboard

May 5, 2020

Me: The elephant has a snowboard!

Pawed

April 22, 2020

Me: Two-pawed tales of adventure.

Tuna

April 6, 2020

Me: Can poop smell like tuna fish?

Parachuting

March 29, 2020

Eight-Year-Old: Dad?
Me: Yes?
Eight-Year-Old: Would you have a parachuting police Corgi as a pet?
Twelve-Year-Old: Who wouldn’t?

Seal

March 16, 2020

Twelve-Year-Old: I’m a seal person, not a cat person.

Demon

March 7, 2020

Twelve-Year-Old: I’m the king!
Eight-Year-Old: No, Dad is. You’re the invisible demon!
Me: Isn’t he the cat king?
Eight-Year-Old: Jesus!