Hungry Like the Wolf

Me:  Are they really saying, “I smell like I sound”?

Learned How

Sixteen-Year-Old:  He died and learned how to fish.

Slavery

Student:  Slavery collar, or as a pet?

Lions?

Student:  Who is good with stone lions?

Support

Me:  Where’s your emotional support grad student?

Gender Reveal

Twelve-Year-Old:  How does giant gorilla who’s sort of powered by lightning defeat giant laser gender-reveal stegosaurus?

Fisherman

Colleague:  As a fisherman, do I know how to sex a turtle?

Serpents

Me:  Sea serpents.  Very dangerous.  You go first.

Disbelieve

Colleague:  I’m not convinced the bats are real, but I can’t disbelieve it.

Dogs

First Friend:  Somebody let the dogs out.
Me:  Who?
Second Friend:  Who?