On Foot

December 6, 2018

Friend: As a four-and-a-half-foot-tall rat, I think I would go off on foot.


Out of the Bag

November 27, 2018

Six-Year-Old: The cat’s out of the bag, but the dog is in the car.


November 19, 2018

Friend: The well and the dragon are going to fight.


November 16, 2018

Eleven-Year-Old: I have lots of duck-themed Christmas songs in my head.


November 15, 2018

Eleven-Year-Old: Duck and Cthulhu, best friends forever.


November 12, 2018

Me: Spiders in the toaster? Seriously, what the heck?


November 2, 2018

Six-Year-Old: This looks like a Diglett wearing goggles.


October 23, 2018

Me: I just got my dog’s ashes back from the crematory, and they came in a velvet bag that said, “Until we meet again at the rainbow bridge,” on it. What are they, Norse pantheon?


October 19, 2018

Friend: It’s called a land squid. It’s like a leech.


October 18, 2018

Me: Keep an eye out for anything that is not naturally part of the woods.
Eleven-Year-Old: You mean, like us? I found it!
Me: Excellent elf-ing.