Slavery

Student:  Slavery collar, or as a pet?

Suzanne

Man:  Nobody says no to a banana suit, unless it’s to fuck somebody hotter than Suzanne.

Matched

Me:  You haven’t changed your clothes since yesterday.
Friend:  Yeah, well, my wife said my shoes matched my shirt, so I figured I should make the most of it.

Harvard

Me:  She led us into a trap where a bunch of Harvard students disguised as Algonquin Indians beat us to death with chains.

Really Clean

Friend’s Wife:  If you are going to be putting them on your boobs, they’ve got to be really clean.

Purposefully

Colleague:  I’m beginning to think my iWatch is purposefully trying to make me feel bad.

Time marches on for me.

Version

Friend:  I think we’re fighting a super-powerful version of the Man with the Yellow Hat.

Coconuts

First Male Friend:  Nobody want to coconut with you.
Second Male Friend:  Why are we buying coconuts?
Female Friend:  Did you ever buy a a coconut bra?

Pony

First Friend:  Slave horses.
First Friend’s Wife:  Kinky, yes.
First Friend:  And they’re dressed up like Princess Leia.
Second Friend:  Let’s not find one of those pony clubs ahead.

Pilfer

Colleague:  Hey, baby, can I pilfer through your pockets?