Fictionalized

Me:  They always describe a fictionalized version of flossing.

Scraping

Me:  I admit it’s disappointing when I find out that the person who liked my blog is just a spam blog, scraping and recycling other people’s blog posts about dance, but unable to distinguish between ballet and striptease.

Quivering

Me:  I thought the car was moving backward, but it was just quivering.

Lowrider

Me:  I need a new word for “dumbest lowrider ever.”

Bar

Wife:  Are you eating a bar of cream cheese?

Pre-War

Me:  I keep pre-war vodka around to up my strength.
Seventeen-Year-Old:  Coming out of context, that would sound really weird.

Tea

Me:  Drink more urine… I mean tea.

Bartok

Me:  My phone rang perfectly in sync to the Bartok I was listening to.

Graduate

Me:  When somebody comes to me with a graduate-level electrodynamics question, “I’m confused by what Jackson has to say about this,” is acceptable. “I haven’t looked at what Jackson has to say,” is not.

Quixote

Me:  Every further message on this topic will be responded to with a Don Quixote joke.