Injured

Me:  It was a seriously injured XY model.

Accute

Eighteen-Year-Old:  It’s a right angle, an acute angle, and a cringe angle.
…
Don’t blog that.  It’s so dumb.
Me:  I wasn’t going to blog that, but now I am.

Hereby

Me:  I hereby declare that I am the only person in the world.

Cough

Eighteen-Year-Old:  Is there a brain cell waiting around for somebody to cough or make a noise, and it says, “Yeah, now’s my time!”?

Con

Eighteen-Year-Old:  Now I can only imagine somebody going to a fur con in a Hamburglar outfit.

Month

Eighteen-Year-Old:  Do you want to see a meme from like, a month ago that, like, made me shit myself?

Capybara

Eighteen-Year-Old [as me]:  Yeah, I am so cool, guys.  I am best friends with a famous capybara.

Replenished

Student:  I come here to get my second hole replenished.

Rite

Me:  It should take once through The Rite of Spring to referee a paper.

Decide

Me:  Cute nose, or a scrotum?  You decide.