April 30, 2018

Me: What is that paper you’ve got?
Six-year-Old: It’s a scroll! No, it’s a sign up for a million dollars!



April 29, 2018

Me: I was thinking of Semtex.
Wife: You can’t just add “x” to something to make it an explosive.


April 28, 2018

Fourteen-Year-Old: You know how everyone is always trying to hum the X-Files theme?


April 27, 2018

Fourteen-Year-Old: Bacon was on drugs.


April 26, 2018

Colleague: Did you hear the Witch-King of Angmar pledged his company’s swords to Imrahil if he would contest with Faramir for the throne?

Admittedly, I’m associating names rather randomly, but still.
Me: Given how lost this leaves me, this is a strong candidate for the blog.


April 25, 2018

Wife: I hate to show up all sweaty, because it sets off all those x-ray things.


April 24, 2018

Wife: Just because you enjoy it, that doesn’t mean you to do it.


April 23, 2018

Wife: I got a Buber. It was full of milk. It was really gross.


April 22, 2018

Fourteen-Year-Old: Oh man, I have so many senior quotes.

Go on

April 21, 2018

Wife: Go on, baby. Go be weird in the shower.