Middle

Wife: Look in the middle, where the polar bear sled is.

Universe

Seven-Year-Old: The only thing I can think of is to look at my sixth universe!

Panic

Fourteen-Year-Old: Having a panic attack in bed is the best thing.

My favorite Greek drama

Me:  It’s like Iphigenia in Aulis!

Shaming

Fourteen-Year-Old: Are you color shaming the cake?

Chapstick

Me: When you’re done eating, we should put on some Chapstick.
Eleven-Year-Old: Yes, Chapstick when you’re done eating.
I beat you the sentence.
Me: He beat me the sentence.
Seven-Year-Old: Are you going to put that on your list?
Me: Well now I have to.

Oranges

Seven-Year-Old: I’m so tired from eating a bajillion oranges!

Cigars

Eleven-Year-Old: How big are the cigars?

Rats

Friend: Are you going to attempt to talk the rats down from eating you?

Mermaids

Friend: I named them “Philips.” They looked like sand mermaids.