Nah

January 21, 2018

Thirteen-Year-Old: Nah, I can’t live without it.
Me: What?
Thirteen-Year-Old: Nothing, I was just talking to myself.

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Declaration

January 20, 2018

Thirteen-Year-Old: Dramatic declaration, I do suppose.
Me: What?
Thirteen-Year-Old: Nothing, I was just talking to myself.

Pills

January 14, 2018

Me: Don’t mention “boner pills” around [Thirteen-Year-Old].

Skinny

January 13, 2018

Student: It was a block class, not a skinny.

Supposed

December 24, 2017

Thirteen-Year-Old: Why, was that supposed to be funny?


I mean, Hah, hah, hah, hah. I love you.

Waves

December 20, 2017

Thirteen-Year-Old: I just thought of something.
Me: What?
Thirteen-Year-Old: Are waves raping the beach?

Super Awesome

December 9, 2017

Me: You want the Super Awesome Grilled Cheese?
Five-Year-Old: No, too awesome!

Tautological

December 4, 2017

Me: It’s like half tautological and half self contradictory.

Air

December 2, 2017

Thirteen-Year-Old: We were all just screaming, “Aaah, the air is touching us!”

Holy

November 29, 2017

Thirteen-Year-Old: Holy water! Holy water! Holy water! I needs it! Holy water! Holy water!