Hungry Like the Wolf

Me:  Are they really saying, “I smell like I sound”?

Existed

Student:  Life was a lot harder before the safe word existed.

Artificer

Sixteen-Year-Old:  Okay, artificer.

Pronouns

Me:  My crab soup’s pronouns are:  she/her/delicious.

Papaya

Sixteen-Year-Old:  What’s the safe word for today?
Student [sadly]:  “Papaya.”

Hag

Friend:  Maybe it’s just some kind of boo hag, who takes walks through the woods.

Jenni

Friend:  We went to Mexico and Brittany and now Sumer with Jenny.

Mythological

Me:  HEΡAKΛEΣ was the greatest of the Greek mythological heroes. The actual greatest hero of ancient Greece was EΠAMINΩΔAΣ.

Slut Shame

Friend:  Onward, ho!
Friend’s Wife:  Don’t slut shame me.

Inanimate

First Friend:  You can talk to inanimate objects?
Second Friend:  Sure!
First Friend:  Do they respond?
Second Friend:  No!