Walnwood

January 12, 2019

Me: I just realized that of all the streets in the neighborhood where I grew up, mine was the worst for a porn name. Wormwood, Valleywood, Springwood, Ironwood, Bayberry, Woodview, La Cresta, Rockwood.

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Outer

January 4, 2019

Me: It’s interesting how [Fourteen-Year-Old] has such an outer inner life.

Immersioning

December 19, 2018

Eleven-Year-Old: I am immersioning.
Me: That should be “immersing.”
Eleven-Year-Old: I no grammar.

Glug

December 13, 2018

Eleven-Year-Old: It looks like sludge, and it tastes like it. Glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug.

So Many Things

December 3, 2018

Wife: I could say so many things and don’t. You’re welcome.

Descended

November 4, 2018

Me: My knowledge of Hebrew has descended to practically nothing.

Syncretism

October 27, 2018

Me: Digging up Tara to search for the Ark of the Covenant, man. That’s some serious syncretism.

Virman

October 2, 2018

Fourteen-Year-Old: Wonderful! Wunderbar!
Me: Virman Vundabar?

Lovers

September 26, 2018

Me: I tried Googling “emo music,” and the first song it suggested was called “Ohio is For Lovers.”

To be fair, that song is really emo.

Worsted

September 1, 2018

Me: How come “bested” and “worsted” mean the same thing?