Wongo

Me: Wild Women of Wongo.
Wife: Really?
Me: I think so.
Wife: Awesome.

Mammology

Wife [pointing at breast milk]:  That needs to be frozen.
Me:  Why?
Wife:  Because.
…
Me:  Because, science!
Wife:  I see you’re learning.  I would have thought the scientist would have figured that out already.
Me:  I love the science of breasts:  mammology.
Wife:  “Mammology”?
Me:  I’m surprised you don’t like it.  Your other choice was “boobics.”
Wife:  “Boobics”?  Why not “boobistry”?
Me:  That’s where I read your future from your breast.
Wife:  Or “boobineering”?

Stimulate

Me: Isn’t sex supposed to stimulate milk production?
Wife: In the sense that it could get you pregnant, sure.

Nautical

Me: The ultimate gag gift for my father would be The Big Pink and Blue Book of Gay Nautical Erotica, if it existed.

Goths

Wife: You can’t eat in the pantry. We’re not goths.

Eats Like

Me: It’s a fruit leather that eats like a meal.

Driveway

Me: Great. Now I’m that guy with a broken beer bottle in his driveway.

Garment

Me: We should make it a game. We have to have sex once in each garment before we give it away.
Wife: No! No! I want them to give them away before 2050! No!

Rocking

Me [describing what I’m doing in little old lady voice]: I’m just going to sit here, wrapped in my blanket in my rocking chair. No sound effects!

Heavenly

Wife: Are you willing to buy SPAM if it’s going on a heavenly ham loaf with pickle stuffing?
Me: Yeah!