Mint

Friend:  I like the green… mint.

Burnt

Friend:  You’re a burnt marshmallow.

Weight-Wise

Colleague:  Weight-wise, I can carry four people.
Student:  That’s like eight half people.

Glowing

Friend:  Is the racist spear still glowing?

Reach

Friend:  What if it’s got tentacles and can reach past a foot?

Bipedal

Colleague:  He’s our bipedal PPMS.

Enchiladas

Friend:  That’s a powerful butthole.  I’m just saying.
Friend’s Husband:  I had eight enchiladas last night.  I’m just saying.

Butt

Friend:  Does that come out of your butt?

Stalactites

Friend:  Can [Twelve-Year-Old’s alter ego] lick the stalactites and tell us what they’re made from?

Inanimate

First Friend:  You can talk to inanimate objects?
Second Friend:  Sure!
First Friend:  Do they respond?
Second Friend:  No!