Threesome-Free

Colleague:  This is a threesome-free gaming group.

Trapped

Twelve-Year-Old: Mister Beast:  I trapped space Hitler for fifty hours in solid ice.
…
I dare you to blog that!

Shards

Friend:  What is the conversion rate for shards of a coffin?

Effectively

Friend:  I’m effectively two dimensional for an eight-foot worm.

Hams

Friend:  Roll for hams.

1.1

Friend:  I would like to drag [Twelve-Year-Old’s Alter Ego] at one point one feet per second.

Weight-Wise

Colleague:  Weight-wise, I can carry four people.
Student:  That’s like eight half people.

Zepplins

Me:  No, Achmed, it’s a trap!  There are four Zeppelins!

Dozen

Friend:  You don’t need a dozen people to take out the trash.  That’s what the dozen elves are for.

A Log

Me:  There are two asleep, four paralyzed, and three under a log.