Only if you kill it first…

Colleague:  Free barge!

Retrofit

Colleague:  We should retrofit one of the chariots for better off-roading.
Student:  You want an all-terrain chariot.

Chariots

Friend:  There are free chariots!

AI

Me:  The AI on your self-driving car only gave you three wheels?

The Children

Colleague:  Excuse me.  The children from the lab are calling.

Shove

Friend:  Don’t shove any rock up your vagina.  That’s not what that’s for.

Purposefully

Colleague:  I’m beginning to think my iWatch is purposefully trying to make me feel bad.

Time marches on for me.

Bathe

Friend:  Bathe in our infinity pond.

Chernobyl

Twelve-Year-Old:  That’s how they should have cleaned up Chernobyl—used dwarves!

Whoever

Friend:  Whoever arms the hippos first wins.