Dropping

Friend: So you’re dropping fire on it?

Incompetently

Friend: I’ll incompetently try to catch the bug, while feeling for ring-shaped bulges on Orenda.

Hello

Me: I said, “Hello,” to [Colleague]. Big mistake.

Confused

Me: Don’t get Sir Neville Chamberlain confused with Sir Neville Henderson.

Deskless

Wife: Oh, you pay your desk friends? That’s good. You wouldn’t want to become desk homeless.
Me: Wouldn’t that be deskless?

Heats

Wife: Laptop takes six memory sticks at once. Totally hot!
…
Because the laptop heats up.

Qualifier

Friend: I just was in the main office, and people were mumbling about the qualifier.

Use

Eight-Year-Old: I’ve never seen someone use magic underwater, except for me.

Flaming

Twelve-Year-Old:  My motorcycle exploded because it hit a curb.
Me:  That’s what happens when you have a magical, flaming motorcycle.

Iphigenia

Me: My memory must be going. I thought that the only ancient Greek play that I’d seen live was Iphigenia in Aulis.

Apologies to my brother, who was actually in The Women of Troy.