July 31, 2012
Me: It’s kind of unusual, that this is a combination wine store and cafe.
Grandmother: It used to be a Blockbuster.
July 29, 2012
Grandmother: [Uncle], you weren’t there when he took them to the game an hour and a half early. So where did you get that?
Uncle: You know, it wasn’t really that atypical.
July 28, 2012
Grandmother: I don’t think my mother-in-law knew my name, until she became senile, and then she remembered.
July 27, 2012
Me: Ow! This dishwasher door is very heavy.
Uncle: That sounds like a children’s book.
July 26, 2012
Five-Year-Old: I like your bathtub.
Uncle: Thank you. I like your shirt.
July 25, 2012
Uncle: I’m going to throw this down…
Five-Year-Old: … the meow-meow pit?
July 23, 2012
Wife: I need clean pants, clean clothes.
Me: They’re on the other side of that wall.
Me: Go get ’em, Shadow Cat!
July 22, 2012
Man Riding Bicycle and Yelling on Cellular Phone: Don’t you know I have principles?! How dare you?!