Dogs

First Friend:  Somebody let the dogs out.
Me:  Who?
Second Friend:  Who?

“Rods”

Me:  I refuse to listen to any version that says “rode the rails.”

Tyler

Me:  Okay, I said ten minutes, but if you’re going to keep looking at sex advice for Steven Tyler…

War Horn

Eleven-Year-Old:  How about having a war horn?  Is that bourgeois?
…
Okay, that’s pretty bourgeois.

Yak

Friend:  It sounds like we have a yak in the other room.

Got Rhythm

Colleague:  Why do people got rhythm?  Do gorilla and chimp troops sing together?

Whistle

Friend:  Do we have a spider whistle?

Wide

First Friend:  He’s a musician.
Second Friend:  I didn’t know [Third Friend] was a musician.  What does he play?
Second Friend’s Wife:  Your mom!
…
You left it wide open!

Robbery

Me:  If you’re ever caught in a liquor store robbery in the South, you sing this and they have to let you go.

Shanda

Me:  This song is such a shanda.