K-Pop

November 20, 2017

Me: No K-pop while I’m talking on the phone.
Thirteen-Year-Old: But I’m working!

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Teapot

November 12, 2017

Friend: Don’t you teapot at me!

Meaningful

November 11, 2017

Me: I’m sorry I ruined your deep and meaningful K-pop music with a counterpoint of the chicken dance.

Rhythm

October 20, 2017

Wife: A Didgeridoo playing a EKG rhythm. There.

Rap

October 13, 2017

Thirteen-Year-Old: I can’t rap that fast in Korean.

Safe

October 12, 2017

Wife: Stop eating your glass.
Thirteen-Year-Old: I’m not. I’m making music.
Me: That’s not a safe way to make music.

Dope

October 9, 2017

Thirteen-Year-Old: I learned something this morning.
Me: What?
Thirteen-Year-Old: Don’t try to dance to “Dope” when you’re not wearing a bra.

Ruse

October 6, 2017

Thirteen-Year-Old: This dinner is a ruse.
Me: What?
Thirteen-Year-Old: Nothing.
Me: Is that something you are listening to?
Five-Year-Old: This dinner is a ruse. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This dinner is a ruse. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This dinner is a rooster. This dinner is a roo… ster. Oh, yeah.

Awake

September 28, 2017

Me: You awake to mushroom song in your ears.

Frog

September 7, 2017

Ten-Year-Old: I fought the frog, and the frog won!