Pretty

September 22, 2019

Male Friend: I’ve learned a lot about what it’s like to be a pretty young woman.

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Vet

September 16, 2019

Wife: It’s a really nice vet. If it weren’t in Irmo, I would have to get other animals to take them there.

Class

September 15, 2019

Wife: It’s not my fault for not having enough class.
Fifteen-Year-Old: Mom, you should be ashamed of yourself.

Cactus

September 5, 2019

Fifteen-Year-Old: I forgot ace existed after cactus. I’m glad I remembered.

Unfair

August 29, 2019

Wife: Ninjas are also expensive to replace, and that’s unfair.

Designed

August 24, 2019

Friend: They seemed to be designed to tear each other, and pretty much anything else, apart.

Pay

August 17, 2019

Me: You want me to pay for you, forget your wallet.

Bay

August 6, 2019

Friend: The mantis shrimp has to remain in the bay for this reality to remain stable?

Alive

August 5, 2019

Friend: In some sense, we’re all still alive.

Sea

July 30, 2019

Friend: As you look for a wolfen in the sea at night…



… you don’t seem to be able to see him.