Apartment
February 28, 2019
Me: The dead man’s apartment has a closet full of ducks.
Pound
February 27, 2019
Wife [to Seven-Year-Old]: I made you…
…
… a five-pound cake.
Head
February 26, 2019
Wife: This is for you to hold your head, because it looks too hot.
Uncles
February 25, 2019
Me: He’s my favorite of your uncles.
Wife: Joe just felt sad, and he doesn’t know why.
Visage
February 24, 2019
Friend: The fangs seem to lend a beauty to your new terrifying visage.
Burst
February 23, 2019
Fourteen-Year-Old: I love how I’m so small that my veins literally just start to burst.
Rocks
February 22, 2019
Eleven-Year-Old: Massaging rocks never works.
Fleshist
February 21, 2019
Wife: All skulls look the same to me.
Me: That’s fleshist.
Bias
February 20, 2019
Fourteen-Year-Old: How am I supposed to stay loyal to my bias if everyone is bias wrecking?
Layers
February 19, 2019
Me: Is the moon made of glass?
Seven-Year-Old: You said… yes, it is. It’s four layers of glass and can support an elephant.
Your Dialogue is Unrealistic. 