Laughing

Twelve-Year-Old:  Maybe the real Key to Time was the friends we made along the way.
…
Why are you guys laughing?

Support

Me:  Where’s your emotional support grad student?

Trapped

Twelve-Year-Old: Mister Beast:  I trapped space Hitler for fifty hours in solid ice.
…
I dare you to blog that!

Gender Reveal

Twelve-Year-Old:  How does giant gorilla who’s sort of powered by lightning defeat giant laser gender-reveal stegosaurus?

Ribcage

Twelve-Year-Old:  There’s bananas in the ribcage, whips in the coprolite, a head in the solar system display.

Suzanne

Man:  Nobody says no to a banana suit, unless it’s to fuck somebody hotter than Suzanne.

Pronouns

Me:  My crab soup’s pronouns are:  she/her/delicious.

Matched

Me:  You haven’t changed your clothes since yesterday.
Friend:  Yeah, well, my wife said my shoes matched my shirt, so I figured I should make the most of it.

Fisherman

Colleague:  As a fisherman, do I know how to sex a turtle?

Shallows

Friend:  So here’s the thing about shallows and gnomes.