Metaphor

Me:  Is this a metaphor for how you can only fit one bear into a Marylin Manson concert?

Subconscious

Me:  My deep subconscious is a colossal troll.

Skis

Me:  Where did those skis come from?
Fourteen-Year-Old:  It’s a robot!

Fraud

Fourteen-Year-Old:  Oh my God, insurance fraud!

Warm

Me:  There are three main reasons I have for wearing a hat:  to keep the sun out of my eyes, to keep my ears warm, to make me look cool.

Skittering

Friend:  What are cockroaches afraid of?
Me:  I don’t know.  What are cockroaches afraid of?
Friend:  I don’t know either.  But I’d like to.  For instance, what’s the minimum sized object moving across their field of view that will induce skittering?

Rigor

Student:  I have learned to cringe every time one says the phrase, “low-hanging fruit.”  I suspect no such thing exists, particularly if one wants to ensure rigor as best they can in their work.

Installed

Friend:  My brother-in-law and my husband installed it, so the whole thing is a bit more personal for me.

Beef

Seventeen-Year-Old:  Never!
Me:  What?
Seventeen-Year-Old:  Nothing.  Just having beef with the Jesus billboards.
Me:  Oh.

Phillips

Me:  Don’t say “Lou Diamond Phllips” to my phone.