Stats

Friend:  It’s the stats butthole.

Wenching

Me:  I’m imagining the gnomes wenching and whoring.

Decided

Friend:  That was a random event in our game, but you decided you didn’t want to find out what the ants are doing.

Scars

Me:  The horse looks to be in perfect condition.
Friend:  No ass scars!

Lick

Friend’s Wife:  Can I lick it?
Me:  That cures one point of damage.

Horse Across

Colleague:  How do we get the horse across?

Thumb

Friend’s Wife:  I won’t rest until I shove my thumb up the queen bee’s butt.

Gnome

Friend:  Aha!  I have a gnome!

Snow

Eleven-Year-Old:  You should put “pregnant lizard people in a cave in the snow” on the blog.

Discovered

Me:  I discovered that, somehow, I was holding two forks instead of a fork and a knife.