Animatronics

Friend:  Wasn’t it you who told me that wasps are pretty much animatronics?

Doctor Fish

Friend:  It’s Doctor Fish Santa!

Supreme

Colleague:  I’m going with supreme confidence of my memory of when I was eight years old, of reading a comic book with Mickey Mouse hiding underwater from giant bees, with reed—reed to breathe through.

Gnome

Me:  Is he, like, really tall for a gnome?
Friend:  Like Kareem Ab-gnome Jabbar?

Spot

Me: Somebody slip me the black spot?
Colleague:  Your son, subsequent Altschul number three.
Me:  “Altschul harder.”

France

Me:  I see London.  I see France. I see the Dungeon Master’s map.
Friend’s Wife:  Joke’s on you.  I don’t wear…

Agitated

Me:  The bee looks clearly agitated.  It just killed a horse.

Grad

Friend:  We’re conducting an experiment and you—you—are the grad student.

Forms

Friend’s Wife:  Sometimes it’s extra hinky, and you chew on it until a hole forms.

Follow Fairies

Colleague:  Don’t follow fairies.  That’s a terrible idea.