Telluride

Woman:  I thought I’d get a Telluride, but I just walked by one, and it’s too tiny.

Thigh

Me:  That woman had a tattoo of Vladimir Putin on her thigh.

Onscreen

Me:  I assume it looks less bad with a station wagon onscreen.

Venusian

Me:  Sir, the Venusian pheasants are here.

Horn

Me:  That French horn player looks like Hermann Göring.  Everyone looks like Hermann Göring.

Pheasants

Me:  Is this part of the astronaut training?
Fourteen-Year-Old:  Of course.  You have to get rid of all the space pheasants.

Undercranking

Me:  Undercranking the dogs!

Spied

Fourteen-Year-Old:  They’re going to get clown spied!

Upper

Middle-Aged White Man:  I don’t like affluent, upper-middle-aged white people.

Sly

Student:  P slash goes into delta sly.