Ribcage

Twelve-Year-Old:  There’s bananas in the ribcage, whips in the coprolite, a head in the solar system display.

Suzanne

Man:  Nobody says no to a banana suit, unless it’s to fuck somebody hotter than Suzanne.

Pronouns

Me:  My crab soup’s pronouns are:  she/her/delicious.

Matched

Me:  You haven’t changed your clothes since yesterday.
Friend:  Yeah, well, my wife said my shoes matched my shirt, so I figured I should make the most of it.

Fisherman

Colleague:  As a fisherman, do I know how to sex a turtle?

Shallows

Friend:  So here’s the thing about shallows and gnomes.

Serpents

Me:  Sea serpents.  Very dangerous.  You go first.

I will not let this joke go.

Me:  Do you want some of the mineral oil to condition your character sheet?

Only if you kill it first…

Colleague:  Free barge!

Concentration

Student:  If Boilen is dehydrated, does that increase the concentration of the acid in his saliva?