Is

Friend’s Daughter: This dog is fabulous, because he’s a dog.

Pubes

Me: Back pubes?
Friend: Front pubes!

Preacher’s

Friend: The preacher’s son’s wife is hairy.

Debutante

Me: Am I ready for my debutante ball?
Friend: In a strapless dress. We’re going to show off your back.

Fabulous

Me: Why do you have a drinking name?
Friend’s Daughter: Because we’re weird like that. Also fabulous!
Friend: Better a drinking name than a porn name! Pick your battles!

Truly

Me: Truly, I would love to make a sword some day.

Sugar-betes

Friend: It was trying to give me sugar-betes.

Woke

Wife: I drank some, and I didn’t know what it was…
…
… and I woke up.

Without

Me: I always wear a hat when I poop. I can’t poop without my hat.

Exactly

Me: Mmm, pie.
Twelve-Year-Old: Dad, stop the pain.
Me: I was talking about pie.
Twelve-Year-Old: Exactly.
Eight-Year-Old: How is that painful, exactly?