Stardust

October 13, 2015

Me: Can I call you “Sparkle Stardust”?
Eleven-Year-Old: Why would you want to call me that?
Me: It seemed like an appropriate name.
Eleven-Year-Old: It’s an appropriate name for any girl.
Me: Well, for you it’s short of “Sparkle Stardust Unicorn Berry Butter.”
Eleven-Year-Old: It’s supposed to be “Sparkle Fairydust Unicorn Berry Butter.”
Me: But Fairydust isn’t real. Stardust is.
Eleven-Year-Old: So you think unicorns are real?
Me: Fine, “Sparkle Stardust Narwhal Berry Butter.”
Eleven-Year-Old: No.
Me: No, you’re right. You’re not really a narwhal.
Eleven-Year-Old: The best way to deal with people who believe in unicorns is to stab them with a narwhal.

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